Thanks to some references from The Existentialist Cowboy, I found akindred spirit...who sums up the way I feel most of the time....
he writes:
"...And, in fact if the world is right, if this music of the cafes', these massed enjoyments and these Americanized men who are pleased with so little, are right, then I am wrong, I am crazy. I am in truth, the Stephenwolf I often call myself; that beast a
stray that finds neither home nor joy nor nourishment in a world that is strange and incomprehensible to him."
Stephenwolf
Hermann Hesse
Earlier he says...in part...
"For what I always hated and detested and cursed above all things was this contentment, this healthiness and comfort, this carefully preserved and optimism of the middle classes, this fat and prosperous brood of mediocrity."
How strange...I have never read Stephenwolf, and yet these thoughts that ran rampant in my childhood..(I clearly remember these feelings at a time and place when I was 10 years old!) ..these thoughts that I passed off as a personal psychosis to be hidden in a dark cellar of my mind and never exposed to the light of day....they've been in print since long, long before I was born.....and even though I know Hesse was writing of pre-WWII Germany, I find his thoughts disturbingly current...I see the images he portrayed in the late 20's and early 30's clearly identifiable today...
It is disturbing.
But if I keep reading....maybe there's an answer....
maybe
he writes:
"...And, in fact if the world is right, if this music of the cafes', these massed enjoyments and these Americanized men who are pleased with so little, are right, then I am wrong, I am crazy. I am in truth, the Stephenwolf I often call myself; that beast a
stray that finds neither home nor joy nor nourishment in a world that is strange and incomprehensible to him."Stephenwolf
Hermann Hesse
Earlier he says...in part...
"For what I always hated and detested and cursed above all things was this contentment, this healthiness and comfort, this carefully preserved and optimism of the middle classes, this fat and prosperous brood of mediocrity."
How strange...I have never read Stephenwolf, and yet these thoughts that ran rampant in my childhood..(I clearly remember these feelings at a time and place when I was 10 years old!) ..these thoughts that I passed off as a personal psychosis to be hidden in a dark cellar of my mind and never exposed to the light of day....they've been in print since long, long before I was born.....and even though I know Hesse was writing of pre-WWII Germany, I find his thoughts disturbingly current...I see the images he portrayed in the late 20's and early 30's clearly identifiable today...
It is disturbing.
But if I keep reading....maybe there's an answer....
maybe
